(-_-)

Stop being a whiny bitch and live on with your life, you did this to yourself so stop trying to guiltrip everyone. Goodness -_- I just want to kick someone in the face.

My legs hurt... from working 10 hours today... and I'm going home today. Well just back to the bay with Josie for the NorCal tournament at SJSU. And staying for the weekendl. Sigh...

November Seventeenth, 2008

I can't help smiling at the thought of you and us.
This weekend was the best... well not THE best, but ONE of THE BEST weekends with Joseph.
I just feel so happy that I don't even want to blog about it, only because I wouldn't know what to say or how to say... It truly is always better when we're together.

Happy 4 Months Joseph :)

TokiDoki in SF!

This weekend was Simone Legno's special appearance in Union Square, SF. Josie, Joseph, Miranda, Will, and I came to see him. It was my second time because I met him last year in LA already. This time I got my Concerto Bacio and my Spiaggia Gioco bags signed. SO HAPPY! How he signed it and drew the characters were so cute... He's so nice. Then later after SF and that night Joseph and I hungout at Audrey's house with Tram and Alvin. We watched BabyMama. And I slept over in her king bed... damn I can't believe she got one.... now her room has no space to even walk around -_- but comfy bed...mmmm. haha

These are the two bags I got Simone to sign :)

My Concerto Bacio that Joseph bought for my birthday =]

And my Spiaggia Gioco I got myself for my birthday last year... lol

This was last year in LA where I first met Simone and unfortunately Josie couldn't join me so I did this for her... LOL

I got 99 problems...

Why can't I just let it go?

I am a prisoner in my ownself. And I only have myself to blame.

Last night, I went to bed at like 230am. Tossed and turned, tried listening to music, but I just laid there for almost 3 hours. I don't know why I couldn't fall asleep within 10 mins like I usually do. I guess there was just something on my shoulders that I couldn't shake off. I'm starting to have a blast from the past... and remembering how all the bad times clearly shined over the good times. Every thought of it just made me so frustrated. Why did it happen to me? What did I do to deserve that kind of torture. And look at me now... Here I am, puzzled, all because of what happened in the PAST. It's like a new born baby bird getting ready to fly out of it's nest but it's afraid because it's so used to having it's mom take care of it. But the bird needs to leave the nest to discover new and better things so eventually it has to overcome that fear to move on... I wonder what has to be done to prove myself that I don't have to have these fears anymore and when this "bird" will fly out of it's nest... I just can't handle it anymore... Surpressing it just made it backfire at me... I don't know what to do... And I know it's something only I can solve by myself...

I have work at 4pm to 2am today.... hopefully work will take away this frustration, confusion, and whatever else I'm feeling.


You're not Sorry Anymore- Taylor Swift

All this time I was wasting
Hoping you would come around
I've been giving out chances every time
And all you do is let me down
And it's taking me this long
Baby but I figured you out
And you're thinking we'll be fine again
But not this time around

You don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did before
You're not sorry, no no

Looking so innocent
I might believe you if
I didn't know Could've loved you all my life
If you hadn't left me waiting in the cold
And you got your share of secrets
And I'm tired of being last to know
And now you're asking me to listen
Cause it's worked each time before

But you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did before
You're not sorry, no no

You're not sorry, no no

You had me falling for you honey
And it never would've gone away, no
You used to shine so bright
But I watched all of it fade

So you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
There's nothing left to beg for
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did before
You're not sorry, no no

You're not sorry, no no

Growing...

This past weekend, I went home with Josie just for fun and to get away from the Davis atmosphere for a bit. We drove down on friday at 530pm after I got off work at 4 but I had to count money -_- so I was out a little late. Arrived in the bay at 7pm. After I dropped off Josie at home, I went to Mercado to meet up with the guys to watch Madagascar2 and on top of that, I surprised Joseph with my presence =] He had no idea I was coming down because I told him I had work all weekend and he totally bought it. Kinda funny, because when he saw me sit next to him in the theatre, he had this look like it couldn't be true or something. But yes! I fooled him! Anyway, the movie was so cute and funny, I didn't even see the first one but now I want to. After movies we went to eat at this place in downtown mountview called UWink. Pretty cool place to chill with a group of friends.
After that whole hangout Joseph and I picked up Kenyon and went to Josie's. The guys sleptover and they had BayAreaOpen the next day and the day after at SJSU. Don't really know how they did but they came home empty handed =\ It's all good, the more experience the better? Saturday night, I picked them up and we went to go eat at RedLobster on CapitolExwy, then rented "Dance of the Dead" which is a pretty bad movie... lol. Kenyon fell asleep before the movie even started and he's the one that wanted to watch it.. lol. I fell asleep like 1/4 of the way and I think Josie and Joseph turned it off like halfway because it was that bad and boring. The next morning, Sunday, I had to take the guys to SJSU for doubles. Josie got a haircut at 9am and we packed and ate before we started to head back home. We watched doubles for about 2 hours before we left back to Davis. The drive was ok, I kinda felt sleepy since Josie slept the way there.. lol. But we made it just in time and with JUST enough gas left in my tank.
Overall, I'm glad I went home this weekend to hangout, just what Josie and I needed. And, seeing Joseph felt really good too.
Speaking of Joseph, our relationship has been shining. Everytime I get to see him after like a week or more, it feels really good and I have like the biggest smile whenever I see him. I think we're at the point where we're definitely willing to make sacrifices for things to workout for each other and the way our feelings are developing deeper and stronger for each other, I can tell that this is going to be a keeper :] And I can actually see us going places in the future. <3

This friday is my mom's birthday. Of course I'm coming home, but she doesn't know.. hehe. Im gonna buy her a nice cake from Paris and surprise her at work on friday with her co-workers since I know she's gonna be working til a little late I bet.
Saturday, Josie and I are going to the Simone Legno (creator of TokiDoki) signing in SanFrancisco. Pretty excited for that too even though I've met him once, but I get to get more of my TokiDoki stuff signed by him! Yep Yep, it's been a pretty good November so far =]

Poopie

Work has been draining me... and it's only been two weeks since I started. At the end of every shift, my legs hurt, my knees hurt, my feet hurt, and my lower back hurts. When I come home, I feel so exhausted that I barely show any emotion. But then after a nice shower, I feel renewed...LOL.
I LOVE IT!!! :D
I think Tim is starting to warm up to me as the "non-chinese" employee. He even compliments on my hard work, askes about how I'm feeling (lol?), and most importantly, he trusts me to do the hard and complicated stuff. Finally, he's acknowledging my hardwork. Yay me!

Oh yea, Josie and I got a second interview with the store manager at INnOUT next tuesday at 430pm. Yay us!

Last teen year...

I turned 19 last saturday... so sad... LOL
My last teen year... how depressing, well there were alot of ups and downs on this day, but everything turned out great. I thank all my friends that took their time to greet me a happy birthday =]
This cake (Chocolate Overload) was from Eric and Josie, it was pretty tasty... haha. And of course, I caked in the face -_-
Steven and Norman later came that night to hangout, and we spent like a few hours just talking about college life and stuff so it was very nice to see them again. Later that saturday, Eric, Josie, Norman, Steven and I drove back to the bay. Dropped off Steven and Norman first, then picked up Joseph. We first went to Valleyfair and I was surprised they still had the jacket I wanted at Aritzia.... I was so happy when I bought it! We then moved onto dinner but everywhere was like hella crowded so we ate at Korea House on El Camino... I didn't think it was that great, I've had better. Eric and Josie wanted to go back to Davis, so they took my car because I decided to stay and have some more fun. A few friends threw a small party for me which was alot of fun. Didn't wanna get too faded because I had work 4pm the next day and i had to take the train back to Davis at like 10am. Played Cranium, SingStar Kareoke!!! was so much fun! I own at that game >:] Puzzle Fighter too. And just chilled, talked and stuff. They also made me this funny hilarious but cute video for my birthday =]

Working at Quickly's isn't so bad. I actually like it. Keeps me really occupied and time goes by so fast. I love it. I worked about 43 hours last week... this week I'm scheduled for about 34 hours because we hired more workers... poop, but I think people are gonna flake on some days and I'll be more than glad to take their shift... lol. But yea, it's like always hectic, always on and on, there's not much time to just stand around and do nothing. I know how to make all the recipes too, pretty fun. My co-workers are funny and nice. My manager, Tim, sometimes has difficulty communicating with me because he's not that fluent in english so there's multiple times where I need a translator beside me... hmm what else. Oh today, a homeless man came into Quickly's and didn't wanna leave so when he did finally leave after asking him like 3 times, he took a shit in the chair he was sitting in... no wonder why he didn't wanna leave.. he wanted to take his time... LOL. BUT don't worry, I think we threw away that chair... LOL

Things between Joseph and I are good. The last like two weeks or so were so frustrating and hard to deal with, but we straightened out our shit so now, we're ok. I do miss him alot too. Kinda sucks for the long distance, but I know I can handle it. Done it once already, I'm pretty sure I can do it again, just more cautiously this time. I think if our communication keeps up, things will be fine. Sigh, I miss him.