I got 99 problems...

Why can't I just let it go?

I am a prisoner in my ownself. And I only have myself to blame.

Last night, I went to bed at like 230am. Tossed and turned, tried listening to music, but I just laid there for almost 3 hours. I don't know why I couldn't fall asleep within 10 mins like I usually do. I guess there was just something on my shoulders that I couldn't shake off. I'm starting to have a blast from the past... and remembering how all the bad times clearly shined over the good times. Every thought of it just made me so frustrated. Why did it happen to me? What did I do to deserve that kind of torture. And look at me now... Here I am, puzzled, all because of what happened in the PAST. It's like a new born baby bird getting ready to fly out of it's nest but it's afraid because it's so used to having it's mom take care of it. But the bird needs to leave the nest to discover new and better things so eventually it has to overcome that fear to move on... I wonder what has to be done to prove myself that I don't have to have these fears anymore and when this "bird" will fly out of it's nest... I just can't handle it anymore... Surpressing it just made it backfire at me... I don't know what to do... And I know it's something only I can solve by myself...

I have work at 4pm to 2am today.... hopefully work will take away this frustration, confusion, and whatever else I'm feeling.


You're not Sorry Anymore- Taylor Swift

All this time I was wasting
Hoping you would come around
I've been giving out chances every time
And all you do is let me down
And it's taking me this long
Baby but I figured you out
And you're thinking we'll be fine again
But not this time around

You don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did before
You're not sorry, no no

Looking so innocent
I might believe you if
I didn't know Could've loved you all my life
If you hadn't left me waiting in the cold
And you got your share of secrets
And I'm tired of being last to know
And now you're asking me to listen
Cause it's worked each time before

But you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did before
You're not sorry, no no

You're not sorry, no no

You had me falling for you honey
And it never would've gone away, no
You used to shine so bright
But I watched all of it fade

So you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
There's nothing left to beg for
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did before
You're not sorry, no no

You're not sorry, no no