Goodbye to 2008

So this year has been quite interesting. I'd call it one big roller coaster. It started down, then up, then down, then up, then down, and now finally the year is ending with the coaster going high up in the the sky and still ascending. I have too many to name, too many things to say about this year. All I'm going to say is that I'm leaving this year with a smile on my face. All the events that have occured have lead up to where I am in my life and I couldn't be happier. Thanks for all the caring and joy from the people I'm close to.

I can't wait to see what 2009 has in store for me. <3

Eye

... Am so sick. I just feel so dead.
I need to take a holiday on my holiday... And I just don't want to care anymore.

All of the wasted time
The hours that were left behind
The answers that we'll never find
They don't mean a thing tonight
_BLG

Late night drives, singing our lungs out... I wish I can do that everynight, it's really relieving.
I'll be around.

WAY to end the year but then again, it was bad to start with anyways =_= yay me...

Omegah

Today was the weirdest day this break by far... I'm not sure how to react... LOL coolio. My mom is funny but she doesn't know when to stop joking -_-

Another fork stuck in the road...

Let's see.... so you take my advice in one ear and out the other, and you're basically just too stubborn to listen to what I have to say. I was quite annoyed, irritated, frustrated, short-fused, and last but not least disappointed.
I hope you realize that if you keep this up, history is going to repeat itself.
Like father, like son huh? I'm sure you would want to call that "bonding" but it's not.
So who are you to tell me that I can't handle it? I took that quite offensively... How are you going to hurt me or my feelings by telling me the truth about that subject or whatever it is? I'm not a child... It's you that's the child. At least I did my part to contribute in my family and I'm pretty sure I've had it so much more worse than what you have now or even have had. At least you grew up with both your parents, I don't even know who my father is... At least you didn't have to move so much and see your mom with with different people. At least you haven't had your life turned upside down caused by one peer. At least, and fortunately for you, you haven't had your heart fucked over and over again. And so much more. I am 1,000,000% sure that I've been through worse than you. How are you... and... Who are you to tell me that I can't handle it? I faced my problems, unlike you, I drove to find a solution that will make things better, not use them as an excuse to just ignore it and quit. Look at my living situation now. Do you think I'm absolutely happy with it? No... I'm not but I can't just tell my mom that, can I? I can't just blame her for all the bad events that lead up to this. The only thing I can do is to make things easier for her, including: helping her clean, taking care of my brother, run errands, and just helping her when he needs it. Our relationship used to be like war. Every other day we would argue, if not, once a week, it would get so bad that I would punch walls out of frustration. Every week, it's just tears and tears and no solution because we were both stubborn too. It just takes time for one another to understand from both views. You and I both know that we're strong and independent so again, why would you say that? Are you thinking that's going to protect me? WRONG. So wrong. You are an idiot if you think that. Before you came into my life, and even now, I took care of myself and my family. Even without you, I'd be where I am now in my relationships with my family and my close friends. But I'm pretty sure you know your family alot better than I do, obviously, but you have no hope for them at all, and that's sad. When you bring out your arguments and excuses to me, it seems like you're so sure that they're that way and how they react like that all the time. Is it a fact that they're always that way or going to be that way? Facts leave no room for possibilities. They're not robots... they're human. There's always going to be changes, I guess not now but eventually it gets there. Could be a good or bad change depending on how you approach and help it. There are always possibilities of change. You're just so caught up in your pride or what not to take that stand for the sake of your family.
You just choose not to do anything. Too much brain, not enough heart.
Seize the opportunities with open arms, but still be cautious....

I apologize for even thinking about discussing that subject with you. I just thought you would've wanted a change for the better. And yes, I do think it's my place to encourage you and talk things out with you about it because I'm your girlfriend. But from now on, I just won't say anything about it to upset you. It's your problem right? ... If you don't want my help, so be it.

My boyfriend doesn't know how to spell my full name...

Home

I'm finally home from Davis. Seeing my brother and my mom made me quite happy as they were happy to see me. Although it's only been the first day home, time seems to go by slowly. Not that I want break to be over so quickly but I just want it to be the weekend already because that's when the fun of the holiday spirit begins...
I feel like I have a million things to do but I can't start it til I have what I need. I gotta go get my tune up for my car this week sometime soon. I have a job interview sometime this week also which means I have to drive back up to Davis -_- one day trip... Friday is Eric's party that he's throwing just for the heck of it, then gotta drive back up to Davis again the next morning and stay til sunday to pick up my paycheck at Quickly's. Then Monday is Joseph's winterball. Then tuesday Josie and I are having a christmas party. The 25th-28th, my family is going to LA and I'm not going, so that's that. Just gonna go shopping and watch some movies that are coming out next week. Don't know what I'm doing the week after though... who knows.

The weather has been very chilly, but at least I get to wear my nice winter clothes ^_^

This christmas is going to be pretty good I would say :D

Hahahahahaha!!

I freakin` LOVE and HATE this time of the year.... Thank goodness I have a job.

So stressful, and frustrating plus it's hella cold. But all in the end, all that head banging and frustration will be worth it... hopefully... Just a couple more weeks.... I can do it...

I seriously don't want to deal with stupid people anymore... it's making me so angry at myself for putting up with it.

On the plus side, I finished them all... hooray! Just have to wait for the right moment.

You think you know, but you have nooo idea...
"I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I'm out of control and at times I'm hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best"
-Marilyn Monroe

JingleBalls Concert

So this past wednesday I was invited to a yearly JingleBall concert in Sacramento. The performers were Chantel, BOYSLIKEGIRLS, DavidArchuleta, KatyPerry, and JesseMcCartney. Concert lasted for about 5-6 hours? It was pretty long and it wasn't that great. The only performance that I was looking forward to and was really good was BoysLikeGirls. They were good, got the crowd going and all. I thought JesseMcCartney is tryng to hard to go all r&b, he should just stick to pop... lol, but he did look good in a suit ;] Chantel was just horrible, the only song she sang that was good was T-shirt. DavidArchuleta was good too, such a talented singer. KatyPerry was kinda weird, not in a bad but her regular voice is kinda squeaky; very different from her singing voice. Overall, the concert was ok. At least we got floor seats.. whoohoo!

Thunder - BoysLikeGirls

Skip to 1:35 if you get bored of them yelling about nonsense... LOL

Can't wait for their new album coming out summer 09`

Turkey Break

Thanksgiving break has been quite relaxing and fun. Time well spent I would say. Came home wednesday night, ate ComTam and had some frozo's. Black Friday was ok, got so little sleep though. My mom bought a 42 inch plasma at best buys.... lucky her.. haha. Went shopping with Kenyon and Joseph, then Josie and Eric showed up a little after. Just got some shirts from gap and the guys got some sweaters. Been there since like 530am, went home at around 1030am. Slept til 530ish. Woke up and went to go eat Halu Ramen with Joseph. Saturday, hungout with Joseph all day; CUE'd, ate and walked around in downtown paloalto, went to HelloDesserts for Vanilla Creme Brulee... yummy. Then we hungout the rest of the night at Josie's place and Eric too. Rented three movies: Pathology, Baby Mama, and another one with Paul Walker in it. Watched them all that night... lol. Eric went home, and we all went to sleep at around 130am. Finally, woke up at noon to eat spring rolls... yummy. Then we started to head out at 3pm to hangout with Eric at valco. Took more CUE, then ate at BreakTime in Cupertino village. Don't go to Breaktime for desserts, it sucks and it's really overpriced. So then, that wa the end of our break. Josie and I said goodbye to our bf's then headed home to Davis, but felt so drowsy so we took a pit stop and took a nap in the parking lot of a plaza for about 45 mins. Got home at around 1030pm and cleaned up. That was about the end of it. Pretty relaxing. Spending time with my baby was very delightful<3

(-_-)

Stop being a whiny bitch and live on with your life, you did this to yourself so stop trying to guiltrip everyone. Goodness -_- I just want to kick someone in the face.

My legs hurt... from working 10 hours today... and I'm going home today. Well just back to the bay with Josie for the NorCal tournament at SJSU. And staying for the weekendl. Sigh...

November Seventeenth, 2008

I can't help smiling at the thought of you and us.
This weekend was the best... well not THE best, but ONE of THE BEST weekends with Joseph.
I just feel so happy that I don't even want to blog about it, only because I wouldn't know what to say or how to say... It truly is always better when we're together.

Happy 4 Months Joseph :)

TokiDoki in SF!

This weekend was Simone Legno's special appearance in Union Square, SF. Josie, Joseph, Miranda, Will, and I came to see him. It was my second time because I met him last year in LA already. This time I got my Concerto Bacio and my Spiaggia Gioco bags signed. SO HAPPY! How he signed it and drew the characters were so cute... He's so nice. Then later after SF and that night Joseph and I hungout at Audrey's house with Tram and Alvin. We watched BabyMama. And I slept over in her king bed... damn I can't believe she got one.... now her room has no space to even walk around -_- but comfy bed...mmmm. haha

These are the two bags I got Simone to sign :)

My Concerto Bacio that Joseph bought for my birthday =]

And my Spiaggia Gioco I got myself for my birthday last year... lol

This was last year in LA where I first met Simone and unfortunately Josie couldn't join me so I did this for her... LOL

I got 99 problems...

Why can't I just let it go?

I am a prisoner in my ownself. And I only have myself to blame.

Last night, I went to bed at like 230am. Tossed and turned, tried listening to music, but I just laid there for almost 3 hours. I don't know why I couldn't fall asleep within 10 mins like I usually do. I guess there was just something on my shoulders that I couldn't shake off. I'm starting to have a blast from the past... and remembering how all the bad times clearly shined over the good times. Every thought of it just made me so frustrated. Why did it happen to me? What did I do to deserve that kind of torture. And look at me now... Here I am, puzzled, all because of what happened in the PAST. It's like a new born baby bird getting ready to fly out of it's nest but it's afraid because it's so used to having it's mom take care of it. But the bird needs to leave the nest to discover new and better things so eventually it has to overcome that fear to move on... I wonder what has to be done to prove myself that I don't have to have these fears anymore and when this "bird" will fly out of it's nest... I just can't handle it anymore... Surpressing it just made it backfire at me... I don't know what to do... And I know it's something only I can solve by myself...

I have work at 4pm to 2am today.... hopefully work will take away this frustration, confusion, and whatever else I'm feeling.


You're not Sorry Anymore- Taylor Swift

All this time I was wasting
Hoping you would come around
I've been giving out chances every time
And all you do is let me down
And it's taking me this long
Baby but I figured you out
And you're thinking we'll be fine again
But not this time around

You don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did before
You're not sorry, no no

Looking so innocent
I might believe you if
I didn't know Could've loved you all my life
If you hadn't left me waiting in the cold
And you got your share of secrets
And I'm tired of being last to know
And now you're asking me to listen
Cause it's worked each time before

But you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did before
You're not sorry, no no

You're not sorry, no no

You had me falling for you honey
And it never would've gone away, no
You used to shine so bright
But I watched all of it fade

So you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
There's nothing left to beg for
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby
Like I did before
You're not sorry, no no

You're not sorry, no no

Growing...

This past weekend, I went home with Josie just for fun and to get away from the Davis atmosphere for a bit. We drove down on friday at 530pm after I got off work at 4 but I had to count money -_- so I was out a little late. Arrived in the bay at 7pm. After I dropped off Josie at home, I went to Mercado to meet up with the guys to watch Madagascar2 and on top of that, I surprised Joseph with my presence =] He had no idea I was coming down because I told him I had work all weekend and he totally bought it. Kinda funny, because when he saw me sit next to him in the theatre, he had this look like it couldn't be true or something. But yes! I fooled him! Anyway, the movie was so cute and funny, I didn't even see the first one but now I want to. After movies we went to eat at this place in downtown mountview called UWink. Pretty cool place to chill with a group of friends.
After that whole hangout Joseph and I picked up Kenyon and went to Josie's. The guys sleptover and they had BayAreaOpen the next day and the day after at SJSU. Don't really know how they did but they came home empty handed =\ It's all good, the more experience the better? Saturday night, I picked them up and we went to go eat at RedLobster on CapitolExwy, then rented "Dance of the Dead" which is a pretty bad movie... lol. Kenyon fell asleep before the movie even started and he's the one that wanted to watch it.. lol. I fell asleep like 1/4 of the way and I think Josie and Joseph turned it off like halfway because it was that bad and boring. The next morning, Sunday, I had to take the guys to SJSU for doubles. Josie got a haircut at 9am and we packed and ate before we started to head back home. We watched doubles for about 2 hours before we left back to Davis. The drive was ok, I kinda felt sleepy since Josie slept the way there.. lol. But we made it just in time and with JUST enough gas left in my tank.
Overall, I'm glad I went home this weekend to hangout, just what Josie and I needed. And, seeing Joseph felt really good too.
Speaking of Joseph, our relationship has been shining. Everytime I get to see him after like a week or more, it feels really good and I have like the biggest smile whenever I see him. I think we're at the point where we're definitely willing to make sacrifices for things to workout for each other and the way our feelings are developing deeper and stronger for each other, I can tell that this is going to be a keeper :] And I can actually see us going places in the future. <3

This friday is my mom's birthday. Of course I'm coming home, but she doesn't know.. hehe. Im gonna buy her a nice cake from Paris and surprise her at work on friday with her co-workers since I know she's gonna be working til a little late I bet.
Saturday, Josie and I are going to the Simone Legno (creator of TokiDoki) signing in SanFrancisco. Pretty excited for that too even though I've met him once, but I get to get more of my TokiDoki stuff signed by him! Yep Yep, it's been a pretty good November so far =]

Poopie

Work has been draining me... and it's only been two weeks since I started. At the end of every shift, my legs hurt, my knees hurt, my feet hurt, and my lower back hurts. When I come home, I feel so exhausted that I barely show any emotion. But then after a nice shower, I feel renewed...LOL.
I LOVE IT!!! :D
I think Tim is starting to warm up to me as the "non-chinese" employee. He even compliments on my hard work, askes about how I'm feeling (lol?), and most importantly, he trusts me to do the hard and complicated stuff. Finally, he's acknowledging my hardwork. Yay me!

Oh yea, Josie and I got a second interview with the store manager at INnOUT next tuesday at 430pm. Yay us!

Last teen year...

I turned 19 last saturday... so sad... LOL
My last teen year... how depressing, well there were alot of ups and downs on this day, but everything turned out great. I thank all my friends that took their time to greet me a happy birthday =]
This cake (Chocolate Overload) was from Eric and Josie, it was pretty tasty... haha. And of course, I caked in the face -_-
Steven and Norman later came that night to hangout, and we spent like a few hours just talking about college life and stuff so it was very nice to see them again. Later that saturday, Eric, Josie, Norman, Steven and I drove back to the bay. Dropped off Steven and Norman first, then picked up Joseph. We first went to Valleyfair and I was surprised they still had the jacket I wanted at Aritzia.... I was so happy when I bought it! We then moved onto dinner but everywhere was like hella crowded so we ate at Korea House on El Camino... I didn't think it was that great, I've had better. Eric and Josie wanted to go back to Davis, so they took my car because I decided to stay and have some more fun. A few friends threw a small party for me which was alot of fun. Didn't wanna get too faded because I had work 4pm the next day and i had to take the train back to Davis at like 10am. Played Cranium, SingStar Kareoke!!! was so much fun! I own at that game >:] Puzzle Fighter too. And just chilled, talked and stuff. They also made me this funny hilarious but cute video for my birthday =]

Working at Quickly's isn't so bad. I actually like it. Keeps me really occupied and time goes by so fast. I love it. I worked about 43 hours last week... this week I'm scheduled for about 34 hours because we hired more workers... poop, but I think people are gonna flake on some days and I'll be more than glad to take their shift... lol. But yea, it's like always hectic, always on and on, there's not much time to just stand around and do nothing. I know how to make all the recipes too, pretty fun. My co-workers are funny and nice. My manager, Tim, sometimes has difficulty communicating with me because he's not that fluent in english so there's multiple times where I need a translator beside me... hmm what else. Oh today, a homeless man came into Quickly's and didn't wanna leave so when he did finally leave after asking him like 3 times, he took a shit in the chair he was sitting in... no wonder why he didn't wanna leave.. he wanted to take his time... LOL. BUT don't worry, I think we threw away that chair... LOL

Things between Joseph and I are good. The last like two weeks or so were so frustrating and hard to deal with, but we straightened out our shit so now, we're ok. I do miss him alot too. Kinda sucks for the long distance, but I know I can handle it. Done it once already, I'm pretty sure I can do it again, just more cautiously this time. I think if our communication keeps up, things will be fine. Sigh, I miss him.

Frustrated...

with you... -_-
GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. Fuck, I feel like a babysitter.... UGH

Wtf.... am I doing....

I feel so frustrated and angry.... how can one person be SO naiive?!!?!!!

*bullet to my head* -_-

Anyways I have work today at 11am-8pm, then practice 8pm-11pm. Damn... what a full day.
First day of work was nothing I expected. I didn't think I'd be running around so much... My legs felt so stiff, my knees were hurting, even my lower back starting hurting a bit. One girl forgot to show up to her shift and I had to cover for her... oh well, more money for me! haha. So I got someone to cover my shifts on saturday... that means I can go home! hooray! :D But then I have work sunday at 4pm... lol. I can't wait for my first paycheck...

UC Davis Open Weekend

Last weekend was the UCD Fall Open. I played C MXD, CD GD. Mixed with Kenyon and Doubles with Josie. Overall, I thought I did good. I felt proud that I did pretty well in mixed and in doubles. Practicing about 3 times a week has made me improve and playing against the people in Davis sure made me stronger as well. Kenyon and I reached finals in C cons but lost it... lol. Josie and I reached semis in D but lost too and we got nowhere in C. This whole weekend was pretty hectic, friday night we had to tape the courts which took hours... later that night Joseph, Kenyon, Josie and I went to go watch Saw5; the movie was pretty good I suppose, but I still think it could've been better. It was more of the story unfolding than more gory blood squirting crap.. lol, just less this time.

Saturday morning I had training at Quickly's at 9am-11am and I had to be at the gym for morning shift at 730am... lol. But I ended up just dropping off Josie, Joseph, and Kenyon then I had to go straight to Quickly's. And then before it was 9am, my tire pressure in my tires were low so I had to stop by Shell gas station to gas up and pump my tires. By 915am, the owner came and the co-manager came to check us all off and make sure we had our uniform shirts. She asked all of us to write down when we're free to work during next week. Since I'll be working full-time, she told me that I didn't have to fill anything out and that she'll just fill me in when everyone else picks their shifts. Most of the other girls are part-time because they have class and all so I guess it's fair that I will just fill in the empty shifts. Next week I'm working 45 hours... lol I'm even working on my birthday... but I'm gonna try to get that day off and probably drive back to the bay, don't know if I'm going to go home home though. So anyway, the Quickly's trainer came and taught us the fundamentals of making each type of drink which was ok I guess, except he talked in mandarin the whole freaking time, so I had a few translators. When I came back to the gym, I didn't get to play til about 5pm.... my gosh, such a long wait. And it turned out that we were like 2-3 hours behind schedule... so I tried to help out as much as I could. So after I played all my matches for mixed, it was like 12am already... LOL Got home, cooked, showered, chilled for a bit to digest, then fell dead asleep. We brought the futon mattress in our room so that Kenyon could sleep on it... as for Joseph and I..... my bed was TOO small -_- I ended up waking up in the middle of night to go down my loft and slept next to Kenyon. The second night, we switched. Kenyon was on my loft while Joseph and I were on the futon mattress.... felt so much better sleeping that night... haha. So on Sunday, it was all doubles. Kenyon and Joseph got to round 3 and lost. Josie and I lost in C, and lost in D semis =\ We ended sort of early, like at around 3pm. Went back home to shower and got ready to go back to the bay. Picked up some papers and viet food! whoopwhoop. Came back home in Davis at around 12am, went to Quyen's to chill a bit, came back home cleaned up some stuff in our room. And again dropped dead. That whole weekend I had less than 10 hours of sleep... sigh. Still got practice tonight too AND my body is pretty sore. FunFun! :D I actually liked helping out at the tournament, I'm glad I could be a part of a pretty awesome badminton club and the people are so cool. I feel that I've found my place... finally =]

My schedule for the week of October 28th to November 2nd::::

October_28th=11-4pm

October_29th=11-8pm

October_30th=11-8pm

October_31st=11-4pm

November_1st=11-8pm (but trying to get this day off)

November_2nd=4-12am

Sushi and Poker

Last night, the badminton peeps decided to take me to Fuji's SushiBoat & Buffet since it'd be my first time. It was Pat, Daniel, Josie, Bin, Will, Miranda, Brittany, Katie, and Quyen. I would have to say SushiFactory is still my number one. Their LionKing roll wasn't that great, I barely tasted the baked salmon on top =.= I would say, it wasn't worth the 20 bucks but oh well. The bill came out to be 220.

Josie says there are better ones around here so I still have an open mind. After dinner, we all went to Will, Miranda, Pat, and Quyen's house to play some poker and to remake score cards for the draws and double checking if there's any errors. Lucy and Chi came a little later to join poker.

$5 dollar buy-in. Whites=1 Red=5 Green=10

So 100 total is all we started off with. Blinds go up every 30 minutes. I'm proud of my myself for lasting so long in this game. Started with 9 people I think and it ended with just me against Chi. I got 2nd place though... haha. Didn't get to take a picture of my ending chips. Chi didn't want to split so I got 10 and he got 40 -_- Would've been 25/25 but noooooo he wanted it all.. lol. It's cool, it was fun. Hella tiring though, probably lasted about 3 hours T_T

Went home and felt so tired for some reason. That day was a long day though. Had like a 3 hour sleep then woke up randomly at 730am and couldn't fall back to sleep so I just stayed up. Took a nap at around 1pm, woke up at 3 or 4pm. Watched The Strangers which is btw a horrible movie.... so freakin` unrealistic, people aren't THAT stupid... -_- And then that's when we all go to sushi and poker.. blah blah. So yea, long day I guess. I didn't feel like talking to anyone or anything so I just checked some things online then dropped dead on my loftbed.

Oh yea, I have training at Quickly's tomorrow night at 9pm. Yay!!! I really hope I get the job :D

Josie and I are planning to turn in a job application for INnOUT too, so if I can I want to work two jobs. It would be INnOUT full time and Quickly's Part time, well also depending on which is the higher pay which is who most likely INnOUT... lol. Actually Josie's planning to apply for Quickly's too.. lol. She's following me! It'd be cool working with her though :]

Tonight is badminton practice at 8pm to 11pm and also the last practice til after the Davis Open. I'm so excited for this weekend. Joseph and Kenyon coming up for the weekend, we're gonna have so much fun. We're going to go watch Saw5 friday night after Josie and I help out with the taping at the gym. Im gonna be cooking sauteed beef with rice... yum... So tonight I really wanna get some real practicing done with Josie because we're playing C and D doubles and I really don't want us to be stuck playing in those flights forever. I'm also playing with Kenyon for C mixed and I don't want to let him down. I've been looking forward to this weekend so much. It's going to be so fun-filled :D I can't wait!

I'm also giving a ride home to Joseph and Kenyon, I'm wondering if I should stay home for awhile or just go home after I drop them off.. HMM. We'll seeee...

Happiness...

Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect, it means you decided to look beyond the imperfections.

It's been a tough year

So this year, I've known 6 deaths from people I know... it's awful. The first death I found out about struck me so hard, I didn't know how to comfort my friend except giving her the silence to let the news soak in. Not to mention my great aunt, who lives in Vietnam, passed away last year. I didn't even get a chance to meet her. Just last week, I found out about another death. This one was probably one of the worst because I know them personally. I don't want to get into detail because that would be disrespectful. I just don't know what to say, it's such a tragedy to lose someone who has been there all your life... No one deserves it.
So I pray for those who have lost someone that they really care for... and those who have gone to the other world rest in peace.

This post is depressing I know... lol. But on the plus side, I had alot of fun this weekend. It was very tiring but I made some very awesome genuine friends, of course drinking just makes it that much more fun.. haha and easy to loosen up and socialize with one another. But then again, I got pretty hammered AND I've never drank so much beer in my life before. haha. Fun fun. I must admit, I'm pro at beer games... muahaha! I feel pretty welcoming here. I love Davis! :D

Hello!

Darn... they didn't have "cucumber" available =_=