Drifting into another world...

Something's up and I don't know what it is. I have this feeling in myself that somethings changing. My feelings have been like off the charts for some odd reason. I've been getting annoyed and irritated so easily. And no, it's not my time of the month -_- Something weird is definitely up and too bad I don't know how to explain it. BUT, the more I think about it, the more I feel like I should just drift further away just to make things lighter on my side. And the more I think about it, the more I miss the past. Ahhh, what to do. I need get my shit straight.

Last night I played badminton at Wilcox's open gym. Saw the new coach, he didn't look too inviting when I introduced myself to him. Hrmm. And wow, I fucking sucked last night. I don't even know what the hell happened. I don't think not having my badminton equipment there was the reason I was sucking so hard, but I guess =.= Maybe it was because of the gym? And wtf, I finally get to play with my mp99 again and POP there goes my strings. WTF. I don't know where all my skills went... Practice in Davis was going so well, and then bam... it's like I'm back to JUST learning how to play doubles. I was so mad at myself last night, how could I have lost to them? No offense to them T_T ugh. I know I'm better than that too. Yea, I probably sound hella cocky right now, but I'm just being hard on myself and I don't like to lose to people when I know I can beat them. I played with Jason too, he still plays the same as when I played with him last summer at Bintang but he did cover me alot. I guess we both didn't play too well last night. Sigh. I hate those bad days, so dumb and inconsistent. I'm so competetive that I sound like a dick right now. Great... fuck me.

In two weeks, I'm playing in the Berkeley Polar Bear II tournament with Fanny in BC Womens Doubles and B with Bin. Gives me a little bit more time to train til then. I think Fanny and I make a good doubles team and I hope we get somewhere in BC but most likely A WD is gonna combine with B since it's such a small bracket so maybe we'll get to play round robin or something. I'm not too sure about playing mixed though. I'm not as confident in mixed as when I used to be sophomore year in high school? Meh... we'll see. I am looking forward to playing though, kinda wanna see some old friends and all.

February should be an interesting month to see.
I have spring break in April and I have no idea what I'm gonna do.
School has been pretty good so far.

Wait, I think I just felt something. I think I feel like I've been missing out on something else. Not sure what though. It's like something I really want to do but can't? T_T
WHAT IS IT!? I'm dying to know!
Ahh... here's another. Maybe I feel like I'm putting too much in but I'm not getting the same back? I'm expecting too much out of something that is "fresh"?????????? Gah.

I am just stuck on this piece of land until I find some ship to rescue me =_=

S.O.S. !!!!