Wow. It's been a little over a month since I last blogged. I guess that's a pretty long time. Let's see... My 20th birthday was pretty fun, friends threw a party for me, and George took me out. Mom's birthday was good too... good food to be exact... yumm viet food.

Thanksgiving coming up but I don't think my family will be gathering on that day this year, so not sure what I'll be up to. I don't know if I want to go out shopping on Black Friday. Christmas is coming up so that means need to save a bunch of moola. Snow trip on January 8th to the 10th. I can't wait!

I don't know what else to blog about, there's just so much but I don't want to type it all out, it'll take forever.

Sigh, sundays....

Just when I asked for an eventful week :(

Why am I so forgiving?
I am too nice for my own good.
...I will never learn.
As he held me in his arms after the whole confrontation, it felt very safe, very reassuring, but I couldn't help thinking about how he just left me to rot in humiliation. I've never had felt so betrayed, confused and hurting as I once was 2 years ago. This is why I shielded myself from certain things and even certain people. When I finally felt safe to lower these massive shields, the trust just shattered into pieces as if all that work and effort meant nothing. I felt anger, sadness, depression, chest felt heavy, tears rolling, I even felt low self-esteem. It felt as if he tore out my heart but wanted to torture it a bit before smashing the crap out of it. My respect for him dropped significantly as well. I was stabbed in the back and in the face. What was a lie and what was real? Just when I thought I could finally be myself and let myself go, something so simple and small as words can just break me back down. I felt like I had actually hit rock bottom again and the last time I felt like this, it took me almost 2 years to recover. I never meant to find out, in fact, I regret finding out but at the same time I'm glad because now I know what he's capable of and what he's willing to do or say to keep his own face or even to chase what could be false hope. I just have to raise my shields again, you can never be too careful. I think I deserved to know but does he deserve me after all that has been said and done? How will I know that I can trust again? The humiliation he bestowed upon me was very overpowering. I will not forget this, it will always be in the back of my mind whether I like it or not. Everywhere we go, there will always be rumors about everyone and everything else but when it comes from someone you trusted and cared about so much, it just makes you want to go on a rampage and do reckless shit. Sigh, 2 years ago my heart was ripped into pieces, I even felt the rips, ripping through my chest and eventually ripped out of it, I felt real heart aches. Slowly, with the help of my good friends, I picked up the pieces trying to put my heart back together. I wasn't whole to start with but last night, I felt a piece had fallen off again...
They say sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you... well I am too weak, those hurtful words killed a part of me.
If I were the same person I was 2 years back, I know I would've lost control in this situation but I'm thankful for what happened back then. It did help shape me into the person I am today.
So how will I recover from this? That.... I do not know. I can only hope that I will never have to encounter this problem again.
It's these times when I need Josie the most, I wish I can tell her how I feel but I have to face what has become of us..
This will not be easy.... Not one bit.


A little note:
I hope you accomplished your goal when you were hurting me. I hope she feels relieved to know that there is no one else like her for you even though she's just as guilty and that you and I just happened to be conveniently stuck together.
Oh... and it wasn't Rey who introduced you to Deathnote... I did... -_-

Certainly yes.

It has been quite some time since the last time I blogged. That sounded weird... Anyway I've been working a lot of closing shifts this past week. Boss sure knows I'm not a morning person... lol. On the plus side we get to take our tips after our shift not just closing shift anymore, but this stupid girl that worked before me, who's name I will keep confidential, leaves a pile of dirty shit on the front counter and in the back counters for me to clean, doesn't even clean after herself and even has the nerve to take my tip in the jar. I was pretty pissed, even the chef complained about her... God what a bitch. -_- As if closing shift wasn't tiring already... At least we're getting new uniforms, I hate wearing that ugly yellow tshirt that looks like the Ohana ones. I think we're getting black polos from American Apparel though, so I guess that's cool.
Been having a lot of off days during badminton practice... sigh. I need to get serious for the fall open coming up in two weeks. Playing ABMXD with Bin and ABWD with Amanda. Two weeks to train... Draw day is this Sunday I believe. This tournament is going to be different and smaller because it's held in the ARC and not the Pavillion this year. We'll see how things go. I'm excited to see friends from home coming up to play. Max is even coming! Tournaments are always fun but running it... mmm is also fun but it has its downsides. Anyway, I'm really looking forward to this tournament. Hooray!
Saw Zombieland and Paranormal Activity this week. Zland was pretty funny, I liked it. Emma Stone was pretty hot in that movie.. lol. ParaAct was pretty funny too, I ws so prpared to like jump out of my seat or something, but it wasn't even that scary... disappointed I guess. The only scary/creepy part was the end where she says "I think we'll be okay now" but with the dual voice with the demon and the little creepy smile. The other parts like how she got dragged out and the very end where she looks into the camera were pretty funny I thought. Oh well.
Nothing else really happened... hmm... Planning on going to Berkeley tomorrow to visit Yuxin and return the rainbows finally.
Other than that I hope this week will be a bit more eventful. Late.

Why is it so hot in davis =\

The start of a new week.

Right now I just feel very unorganized... I don't know where my week/weekend went..
All of my thoughts are just crazy.. sigh...


You look kinda cute... in that polka dot bikini gurrrrrrrrl. HEY!

Blank Blank Blank. Blankity Blank Blank.

:T

I want to go home.

Glacier

This past week has been kinda hectic but I guess fun at the same time. Finally moved into Glacier with Josie, George, Quyen, and Pat. Our new place is small, but it's pretty cozy. Not quite finished with setting up the living room and all but I think it'll look pretty nice. My room with Josie is pretty big, she still hasn't bought her new desk yet so it seems 1/3 empty. The bathroom is huge, we fit Pat's desk AND chair in there.. so that was a good laugh for awhile since Quyen and Pat's room is pretty small to fit both their full beds and desks. George got his own room with the private bathroom and the "walk in" closet which is bullshit... lol. Overall I do like my new place, at first it seemed pretty crammed but once we got settled and organized things, I got used to it and came to like it. I just hope it stays clean.
I think my arms have been getting buffer... -_- All that lifting and the stress ball exercise... damn, it's kinda gross... my shoulders are a bit broader? T_T For some reason I can't help it. I like doing tricep push ups... so weird... Like you can see the cut on my triceps... lol.
NBL's has been interesting I guess, not to mention I got my ass handed to me in singles last weekend.... sigh. I have another NBL game this saturday at Affinity Club. I'm not as good as I used to be in singles... Junior and Senior year were my prime years for singles =\ I wish I had the motivation to train in singles again. Maybe one day. Sometimes I really miss high school and all my friends. One thing I did come to realize, thanks to the help of one of my close friends, is that high school will always stay with you and your history. I actually enjoyed high school alot unlike the other people who were always saying "I can't wait to get out of this hell hole." Well college is a more complicated hell hole.. lol. It may offer alot more fun and freedom, but high school was where you started to discover yourself. Oh well.
I have work 11-730pm tomorrow T_T Not really looking forward to that but I'll be looking forward to my paycheck next week... haha.
Oh yeah, Taking Back Sunday concert this sunday at the Shoreline Amphitheatre with Yuxin.. hooray!
Walter's 14th birthday this sunday too... what should I get for him... Shoes? Or clothes?

I guess this weekend is pretty booked..


I don't know what to do.
The sunset is coming...

Running on One Hour of sleep today =\

I am frightened.


Congee for dinner? Yumm... I wonder if the chefs will use my tupperware for the congee instead of their small ass bowls.

Working today..

Man, business is hella slow... yesterday I had to work 11am to 6pm and only made barely 300 in that whole shift. I remember like 6 months ago, in 7 hours we would make about 3000. Damn, that really sucks. Well at least I'm getting paid to do nothing here. lol. Just stting around, make a few drinks, go on facebook, go on aim. Although Igot paid 15 an hour at Teledyne for doing nothing also. I think I'd rather have that job... lol. Sit in my cubicle, yee. I was baller. I'm working right now as I'm blogging.. lol. But only 11am to 4pm today.
Had another party fail last night.. lol. But I took like 6 shots or something. George took 8 or 9? Lucy probably matched him or lower. Vu was DD and Jenn took a few with me. Then we all went to taco bell at 1:55am and they close at 2am. The register guy was pretty funny. Since they had to close at 2am, these white people who were like tipsy or some shit kept going in and out of the store so then the manager noticed and started yelling at them to shut the door but they didn't hear so the register guy says out loud "these mother fuckers" then barges over there to shut the door and tell them to keep out or stay in. But that wasn't the last of them, they kept going in and out again so the register guy was like "you dumb son of a bitch" and goes over there again just locks the door... lol then he walks back to the register to take more orders and apologizes to the customer.. lol.
I'm glad I don't have to deal with people like that. At Quickly's, it's like being in China, although I've never been to China, Quickly's is like a little Chinatown for me.. lol. That also includes the chefs wo can't speak or understand English -_- 99 percent of the people that come in Quickly's are Asian, and you know how Asians are... well mannered, quiet. Well... most of them. then there's the frat people, still better behaved then thos white people, not to be racist... just the truth.. LOL. Sigh.
Berkeley people left this weekend for move-in. Damn school is coming fast... Yuxin left Saturday morning to move into her triple with Aubry. I will definitely miss her, our drunk nights, and all the stupid shit that we do. Those long pointless talks to the really really deep conversations that lasted hours on end. And we still haven't ran out of things to talk about. I'm going to miss going to her place or just hanging out with her when I want to get away or whatever. I know I can depend on her. Hanging out with her is never dull. She has definitely opened my eyes to certain things in life. I hope I don't get lazy to go visit her in Berkeley though... lol that would be epic fail for our friendship. She is definitely one of my closest friends and I only hope that our friendship grows from here.
On another friendship note, I miss Josie. I miss cracking jokes with her, heck I miss it when she cracks jokes about me even... But it's hard for me to approach her now. I feel like she doesn't care or something. I miss my best friend. Sigh. Maybe it's just the summer...
So we get to stay in Saratoga until September 4th and just pay for rent those 4 days. Cleaning out that place is going to be SUCH a betch... T_T I do not want to clean... lol. Then Glacier is letting us move in on the 4th too and not the 10th, so we don't have to worry about being homeless for 10 days anymore.. yay! I wonder what next year is going to be like... How exciting.

Well there's a rush coming in the store, yay. So I must end my blog right hurr.

Promises are important to me.

Piano is my therapy and I guess instrumentals too

So my brother James came up to Davis this week to visit. Just him. It's been quite interesting having him around in the whole college atmosphere. He's been taking it quite well too. I think he likes it here... lol. I have certainly missed him a bunch. Seeing him again and spending time with him has never felt so warming in a long time. I love my brother. Oh yeah, just recently found out that Walter might come up to visit too. James is staying til Wednesday I think, so I think Walter will stay that long with him too. Those two with me up here will indeed be interesting.
Saw the meteor shower briefly a few days ago with Fanny, Quyen, George, and James. The only reason I would go camping is to watch the stars. I hear it is the best.
Had a sleepover last night which I didn't even sleep at -_- lol. But I guess it was all worth it. Saw 500 Days Of Summer with them at the Varsity theatre, pretty good movie but I wish there was an alternate ending. I do understand why now, just from watching that movie. We got into a lot of deep conversations surprisingly. Some people even opened up. Interesting personalities indeed.
Berkeley Tournament this weekend. Pretty excited. Playing BC doubles with Fanny and BC mixed with Kenyon. Haven't played in a tournament since Davis Spring Open. I hope Fanny and I will do well.
I don't understand where these thoughts come from. I don't understand how these thoughts even form. What you see through your eyes aren't always true. Assuming the worst will lead to chaos. What goes through your mind is sick. Your judgement is fairly poor, sorry to say. I don't know what you want. What more do I have to do without having to stray from my beliefs? I'm trying to untwist my cap little by little. Supersigh.
I've been kind of sleep deprived lately. Eyedrops for the win.
Started to work at Quicklys again which is good I guess. I want to be reminded of how good it feels to earn my money.
I guess I somewhat understand or can relate to how Adora feels, along wth Summer.
I am not sad. But not as happy as I wish. Not mad. Maybe a little frustrated or flustered? Confused even? But I need to bite my tongue. Right now is not the right time....

I am just... Content.

Alcohol-Fest?

I'M THERE.

I'm not an alcoholic I promise :)

August 1st

I am going to drown myself in alcohol tonight. Wish me luck.

I hate moving..

Move-out deadline is 12am July 5th and I just barely started packing last night... Got 9 boxes packed and ready to go, so it's not too bad but with class, and homeworking filling up two full days, not to mention the blazing hot heat, I'm already stressed about where I'll be storaging my stuff for the summer and if things will fit here and there. I'm making a trip home tomorrow though, to put my uneeded crap at home. My goal this week is to move all my stuff out of Aspen by Thursday and have friday to clean as much as I can. Then Saturday probably come back and clean a bit more. Josie's going to have a lot of stuff to pack away also... I hope she makes it in time. So I'll gradually move the things I need for summer to George's, and try to take everything else home or try to find some kind of storage for some of it. Sigh, the weather is so hot this week too... why... T_T I just hope I can move 99% of my things out by this thursday so I don't have to worry about it this weekend.

Stupid AIM update notification won't go away... =(

Anyway. I know there are a lot of things I could be talking about because quite a few things have happened since I last blogged for real. But I really don't know where to start. Strangly, SOMETHING just lead me to this page and told me that I have to blog about at least ONE thing.
Hmm. What to talk about? Sigh. I guess I'll just ramble for now.
Moving out of Aspen soon and into George's apartment. Started summer session with Yuxin. Just been relaxing in Davis while everyone else is at home. Visiting home last week was pretty fun, happy to see my friends graduate, James and Walter graduating. Maybe a bit nostalgic about home and everything, but I accepted that.
Life's been going pretty swell so far. Summer just began and I'm pretty excited for what's in store... Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, more movies, parties, roadtrip, beaches, hanging out. Nothing TOO extreme. :p

I'll be your princess and you'll be my toad. MKLS <3
Just waiting for that right moment...

I still find it kind of funny how some of my friendships came to be but I don't think I would have it any other way. The best friendships are the unexpected ones that catch you off guard. One in particular; I'm glad to have found another friend that I can always count on and be myself with.
Remember what we promised each other... rofl. You better keep your end. :)

I'm happy where I am now. :)

That's where I'm going to conclude for now. It's so early! Sleeptime :)
Oh and I hope I'm going to win this bet... because I don't want to take 5 shots!

Left.

More than ever, I'm starting to see the real you.

New Again

Yesterday(sunday) was a little bit too much, definitely caught me off guard...

The new Taking Back Sunday album "New Again" is A BIT disappointing =\
They lost their "sound"... sigh. Oh well.

One-eighty by Summer is definitely one of my favorite songs from them, probably my #1 or #2 fav.
Some verses that really catch my ears.

Go on just say it (are you afraid to)
You need me like a bad habit (say what you want to?)
(tell me you want to)
One that leaves you defenseless, (are you afraid to)
dependent, and alone. (say what you want to?)
(tell me you want to)

Well I hold (my tongue)
and use it to assess
the damage from way back when it mattered
Nothing seems important anymore, we're
just protecting ourselves from ourselves.

I don't think I'll ever come back down
(I don't think I'll ever come back down)

Are you ashamed to say what you want to?
Tell me you want to
Are you ashamed to say what you want to?
Tell me you want to

She says "Live up to your first impression" (go on just say it)
Well my best side was your worst invention (well I'll just say it)
Why can't you live without the attention? (I need you defenseless)
Why can't you live without the attention? (dependent and alone)

My bracelet finally broke last night... I can finally make myself a new one ^_^
"The start of something new..."

The start of something new...

EndOfTheYearParty was a success :)
Picnic/barbecue with Club this saturday.
Party saturday night?
Quyen's birthday on sunday.


Friendships have gotten stronger and growing more each day.

Life feels pretty good right now :)

Waste

...of my time?

Possibly...


I hate relationship crap.



At least I know I did the right thing for one of them.

I don't even want to try anymore...

FML.

Please let tomorrow(today) be better -_-

HotHotHot

Been swimming and getting my tan on :]

Picnic on saturday then swimming.. yay!

EndOfYear Party sunday.. yay!!!!!!

Another fun weekend to look forward tooooooo :D

And the Crazy weekend BEGINS!

Take a few shots and pass the eff out.

Long big super duper fun day tmrw. I hope the weather will be fair. I cannot wait....

I finally bought a new swim suit top :D I'll find a bottom to match it one day :p
Hopefully get to tan a bit...

Saturday, Becca's graduation and picnic.
Saturday night, get EFFed up like crazyyyy.
Sunday, back to davis and recover.
Monday, SAN FRANCISCOOOOOO.

Been holding up,
and now, it starts to unravel.... <3

My own Boston

To leave this all behind

I think I need a sunrise

I'm tired of the sunset....


Summer is coming! Oh how exciting...

HAHA...!

Laugh Out Loud...!!!!!!!
Hecka funny
Too funny
Brings me laughter.

This heat is getting crazy.
And I still need to get a new swimsuit... because I wanna go swimming!

May 13th, 2009

It was Yuxin and George's birthday yesterday. Didn't get to celebrate with George but definitely got to celebrate with Yuxin. We made her tshirts for everyday of the week, it was pretty cute, then we ambushed her with a whole lot of shaving cream and pieeee, then eventually we all got each other, then eventually all went into the girls locker room and showered... hehee. And thennnn, went to her house to surprise her with the REAL ice cream cake that we got for her, then took more silly pictures. :)

I haven't had so many laughs in one day for the LONGEST time... It felt very relieving...

Yesterday was definitely one of my better days these past few weeks. Needed to let some stress goooo. I hope you've been doing better than I am, and it seems like you are... good for you. One day..

Sighhhh, just ONE more week.... it's so close, yet so far. I'm actually coming home next friday, or thursday night, haven't decided yet. And Becca's graduating... wow... so soonnn. And my brother's going to middle school... woowow.

I'm not even looking forward to going down to SoCal for the SunGod tourney. I think I'm just gonna end up playing at the tourney then go home and not stay at Riverside.

I'm pretty sure I'm not ready yet. Or it's just.. Sighh.

Sunsets and Car crashes

Sleep, everyone...

With so little sleep,
At least you'd think I'd find some peace in my dreams...
My dreams...
But my mind still winds up the same things,
The same scenes,
The same themes...

All good things come to an end...

Yea.... Fuck My Life. =\

Peace.

Davis Spring Open 2009

Won A cons Mixed doubles with Bin and A cons Womens doubles with Fanny
Got 2nd place for B Womens doubles with Fanny again. Yayyyyy trophies!

Being the announcer was much fun. Learned how to run the tournament, I think it's fun too. It's hectic and all but I'd rather have things to do than just sit there and wait for my match, plus I get court privledge... hehehe. The tournament itself was much fun :D

Now my body is sore all over and I have like ten new bruises... and they're not small ones either. My finger even bled... from diving so much lol. So fun this weekend...

Kenyon, Kevin, and Oyuky came up for the weekend but Kenyon left saturday night. Kevin and Oyuky took the train home sunday morning. I took Kenyon to my friend's party friday night, it was fun too. Kenyon played beer pong for the first time, I guess he's not bad... lol. Haven't gotten tipsy in a long time so it was pretty fun.

Overall, haven't had this much fun and exercise in awhile... LOL especially the exercise :D

My best side was your worst Invention

I don't think I'll ever come back down...

-_-

What the fuck....




Retarded....



No Nudies =[
So there will be an attempt number tres

Attempt Numero Dos

Nudies.... :p




I LOVE VERDE!

AGGGGH!

Ugh, you don't even know what you're talking about, trying to sound all smart and shit. Just stfu. You don't know anything. I don't even want to deal with you anymore. I hate being in this WTF mood. EFF!

SIGH

argh..... ahh.... ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh -_-

sore...

Lastweek...

-I got sick again. Like hella sick because SOMEONE keeps making me drink... jk. I got sick from eating stupid old tea house food. So I didn't get to make up all my hours because I had to stay in bed for two straight days, then I had back problems from staying in bed too long, and now I have this stupid cough that won't go away. Sigh. That was pretty much the highlight of last week. Just being very sick -_- So didn't go to work to make some money =\
-On the plus side, I'm bonding alot better with the DHS badminton team now. We beat supposedly the number 1 team in their league and the were so happy so we took them out for some In N Out. Funny stories. Our record is 4-1 right now but should be 5-0. Haha. It's cool, we play each school three times though o_O I'm planning on taking them to SF, the beach, and have a picnic day too. Just how Long used to do it, I wanted to pass that on here at Davis, just hope the process will be possible.. lol. It's going to be alotof fun! They're really excited too.
-Other than that I think thats all I really remember from last week. Wasn't much, everyone went home. Hungout with mostly Quyen, Bin, and Fanny which was alot of fun too. Played games, watched movies, and drank -_- Had a random walmart adventure too.
-Some old memories kicked in for a bit here and there, just hope things will get better between us... It was good to see an old friend anyway since I couldn't really go home to hangout with the others...
-Haven't been playing much of badminton. But tonight, going to be reunited with it... ^^ About a good month before Davis Spring Open. And Bin is going to kill me in training since I've been such a lazy ass. That reminds me, Fanny invited me to go running with her tonight at the ARC and I'm gonna use her roomates ID to get in. LOL. Yay! Finally get to run! Run off my damn love handles... BE GONE! Just gotta seriously train for spring open.
-The mister has been driving me nuts in both ways o_O
-Josie has been quite odd to me lately, but I think that's just her way of showing her love to me =] So whatever, I'm cool with that. I've missed her bitchy-ness.
-I'm going home this weekend and staying for the week, so I'm excited to get to hangout with the hometown friends and help out with the Wilcox badminton team since now I have good experience from coaching.
-MoviesMoviesMovies!!!! I wanna see Fast&Furious this weekend!!! Well three movies I wanna see this weekend in this order:
Fast&Furious
MonstersVsAliens
Adventureland
-Dualmeet vs santa cruz next weekend and beach day!

I think that's all I can think of for now. Some exciting events coming up and good things to look forward tooooooo :D
Go April!!!

This and That...

I've been sick, I feel alot better today but it was pretty bad last week. Woke up with a fever and I don't even know how I got it. sigh. I hate being sick. I'm pretty good at avoiding sickness, but when I do get sick, it's like I'm dying. Thank goodness Joseph came up to take care of me when Josie couldn't. I owe them so much (my life -_-).
Anyway, yesterday was DHS' second away game and we defeated them!!! Whoop! Too bad I'm not as ballin' as Long or else I would've took them all out for some ice cream. We had alot of fun. There are alot of unique personalities on the team, I enjoy being around them, they make me laugh. I'm also proud of how much they've improved. Thanks to Quyen, Bin, and Fanny, I couldn't have done it without them. Tomorrow is our first home game against Vallejo. I hope we do well.
Next week I'm gonna be here all by myself =\ Everyone else is going home for their Spring Break but I have to work and coach T_T Oh yea and class too.. LOL I'm gonna be working alot of hours next week though, it's ok. It'll make up for all the hours I had to take off the previous weeks.
UCD Spring Open is coming up in April, still about month and a half til we get there but yea, already excited for that ^^
It's been getting warmer in Davis and I'm glad. Time to bust out my shorts and tanks.

Weahhhh..

I don't wanna drive home =_= .....alone. Sigh.

Ooh noes...

I just had the most unsettling conversation ever... after the convo, I still wanted to talk more but man.... that subject made things really awkward... Ok I admit, you're right, you win, goodjob. But we are two completely different people. I'm pretty spontaneous and laid back. I may be ignorant and selfish but who isn't. If the world changes then whoopdie do. If it has to change my life, then I'll adjust. I just want to live my life, do the things I want to do before I die and THEN, I can say that I lived it. But hey, I guess I am just being stupid and ignorant, I admit it. Maybe I'm just taking life too lightly and that I should worry about what's going to happen in the future. Sigh, I just think that' a really sore subject to discuss about between us. I'm sorry if I offended you in any way, I didn't mean to. And I'm sorry that I just don't care about that subject as much as you do, those are just my opinions. I do care somewhat in some way, I just don't express it. =\

But please... never again....

Holy Moly...

Yesterday Fanny and I played in the Bay Area Open tournament. We won BC cons for womens doubles... lol. I had no sleep for the tournament AT ALL and Fanny had very little sleep... sigh we did so bad though, we should've took B and C. But man, no sleep can really ruin things.. haha. We ate La Vic's after the tournament, so goooood... I LOVE the orange sauce and I actually finished the burrito too! Fanny and I had to drive back to Davis right after too -_- we were so tired, I slept in the car while she drove cuz I drove to BAO. I finally got home and within 30 mins I fell dead asleep. I think I fell asleep in like 2 mins. Went to sleep at around 830pm, woke up at 130am but fell right back to sleep, then woke up again at 7am for potty break then went back to sleep again and finally woke up at 2pm. An estimate total of 17 hours and 30 mins of sleep. It was GREAT :D
And now back to the regular routine week. Today I have DHS practice but I can't go because I have work at Quickly's 4-8 and then I have badminton practice 8-11pm. Whoopie....

Right now it's 3:20pm, so I should go get ready for work and stuff. Byeeee.

???

God, you are an idiot. Haha.

Drained...

Ugh... It's been hell this week... thank goodness for fridays and hooray for berkeley tournament this weekend. This week has been surprisingly stressful for me =\

Been training hard for this weekend, hopefully Fanny and I will do very well.

Oh My God...

If you know me well enough you know that I don't say God... ever... You'll know when I'm mad because I'll say God. I'm so annoyed that I can't even sleep. -_- I have a meeting with the captains this afternoon and I really have to wake up to go talk to them.
I don't wanna worry or think about this crap anymore.. My GOD...
I just wanna enjoy my weekend, get the first 4 days of next week over with and play in the berkeley open. Sigh.
I just can't shake this feeling... -_-
Does my mind want it to happen so bad that it's over-powering me?

So tonight, Josie and I headed over to Quyen's and had an officer's meeting with badminton. Talked about the spring open tournament, preparing for it, and setting up deadlines. Talked about uniforms, and sweaters. Volunteers and etc. Pretty interesting. Although we did get off-topic a few times but it's all good. Meeting took awhile too.
Anyway, Josie and I are going to Jackson tonight. Probably with Jiaxi maybe, Miranda and Will. But yea, probably gonna play some poker. Get some practice in I guess. Then back to the bay saturday afternoon which Josie isn't coming with, just Tim (badminton friend). Then back to Davis again sometime before 5pm so I don't miss much of the superbowl which I don't really care for this year... then I have work at 8pm to 12am. And then the long Monday... =_= Sigh. I don't have time for much anymore, which I'm kinda glad. Don't have to commit myself to anything else but school, work, and badminton which is working quite well for me. Don't have to worry about useless things. Just ME time. Although I wish there were more than 24 hours in a day so that I could get more sleep in... lol. Where are those red bulls when I need them? haha. But neh... since I work at Quickly's now, I can get all the milk tea I want, and it really does keep me up o_O Well at least they're healthier than energy drinks, but I do like jaiger bombs :p Yumm. I don't know what to do when I actually have free time though. I could sleep, eat, but I wanna keep my sleeping cycle normal and not all wacko like it was before. And like, I don't feel like myself lately, I feel like I'm carrying some really heavy loads on my shoulders, or maybe I'm just tired? I want to do something where I can be worry-free for like a night or a weekend or so. I don't want to worry about anything and just have fun. "Party like you just don't care" Mmm..

Seems somebody put out the moon, now the road is a mine field.

Tylenol anyone?

Geez, why do I have a headache? I had a decent amount of sleep, ate a prime rib footlong at subways, everything was fine until I got to work. Found out that 3 hours was added to my Thursdays shift which was 11to4pm now to 11to7pm. I appreciate that I'm getting more hours but it's too bad that I have school now, so I can only stay til 4pm -_- I have class at 5pm. Oh yea and Tim (my manager) didn't even bother to tell me about him adding on to my shift, what an ass -_- On top of that I had to close by myself tonight. I usually work closing Tuesday nights with Jamie but Tim called her and told her she didn't have to come in.... wtf... it was hella hectic and the chef that was trying to help was so useless. He left all the orders that he didn't know how to make (which was about 50% of like maybe about 30 orders?) on the side and didn't even tell me until I went back there to check if everything was ok.. People were getting impatient and I had to say sorry so many times and take people's shit. Ugh, Tim is an idiot, thinking that one person can work closing shift? IDIOT! Thank goodness Jamie cared enough to come by and check up on me, so she helped me get caught up on my orders while the chef was just standing around staring into space... We have enough chefs but not enough drink makers -_- My gosh, I was pretty pissed. Maybe that's why I have this headache right now. Turning back and forth, twisting and turning my body back and forth, running back and forth to the back to make drinks then back up to the register to take more orders. Ugh so tiring. I had to clean everything by myself and only got 7 dollars for tip.... I need a better job but our economy is so full of shit, I can't just quit.
I had a paper to write which I drafted Monday night so all I needed to do was to type it out. At least I'm not procrastinating yet... lol. I have a history quiz too which I feel confident about. I hate history though.... lol.
So berkeley tournament is next weekend. Pretty excited, just don't know the sleeping situation right now =.= Jaime and Richard are coming up for the weekend to play in the tourney. I've been practicing with Fanny alot lately and not much with Bin. Still got about 3 more practices, I better use that time wisely. I hope I don't get one of those bad days at the tourney... sigh, that would make me so sad.
On top of everything, I've been listening to my trance again. Feels good and it relaxes me, so does piano... mmm. I want some devils lettuce T_T supersigh. Alright, it's 2:38am. Time for me to get some shut eye, got 930am class in the morning =[ Goodnight.

Because...

Just felt like I should blog... sort of.
I'm so tired right now, I'm gonna pass the eff out any minute.
Today was hella fulfilling.
930am class all the way to 320pm in three classes.
Sigh.
Then I had work at 4pm til 8pm then went to practice.
Got home at around 1120pm to shower and eat some potstickers.
And now I'm sitting here out in the living room.
The air is so cold but my arms got used to it.

I don't know. I don't care. Kill me now.


All American Rejects - StraitJacketFeeling

Good song. Can't stop listening to it.

Drifting into another world...

Something's up and I don't know what it is. I have this feeling in myself that somethings changing. My feelings have been like off the charts for some odd reason. I've been getting annoyed and irritated so easily. And no, it's not my time of the month -_- Something weird is definitely up and too bad I don't know how to explain it. BUT, the more I think about it, the more I feel like I should just drift further away just to make things lighter on my side. And the more I think about it, the more I miss the past. Ahhh, what to do. I need get my shit straight.

Last night I played badminton at Wilcox's open gym. Saw the new coach, he didn't look too inviting when I introduced myself to him. Hrmm. And wow, I fucking sucked last night. I don't even know what the hell happened. I don't think not having my badminton equipment there was the reason I was sucking so hard, but I guess =.= Maybe it was because of the gym? And wtf, I finally get to play with my mp99 again and POP there goes my strings. WTF. I don't know where all my skills went... Practice in Davis was going so well, and then bam... it's like I'm back to JUST learning how to play doubles. I was so mad at myself last night, how could I have lost to them? No offense to them T_T ugh. I know I'm better than that too. Yea, I probably sound hella cocky right now, but I'm just being hard on myself and I don't like to lose to people when I know I can beat them. I played with Jason too, he still plays the same as when I played with him last summer at Bintang but he did cover me alot. I guess we both didn't play too well last night. Sigh. I hate those bad days, so dumb and inconsistent. I'm so competetive that I sound like a dick right now. Great... fuck me.

In two weeks, I'm playing in the Berkeley Polar Bear II tournament with Fanny in BC Womens Doubles and B with Bin. Gives me a little bit more time to train til then. I think Fanny and I make a good doubles team and I hope we get somewhere in BC but most likely A WD is gonna combine with B since it's such a small bracket so maybe we'll get to play round robin or something. I'm not too sure about playing mixed though. I'm not as confident in mixed as when I used to be sophomore year in high school? Meh... we'll see. I am looking forward to playing though, kinda wanna see some old friends and all.

February should be an interesting month to see.
I have spring break in April and I have no idea what I'm gonna do.
School has been pretty good so far.

Wait, I think I just felt something. I think I feel like I've been missing out on something else. Not sure what though. It's like something I really want to do but can't? T_T
WHAT IS IT!? I'm dying to know!
Ahh... here's another. Maybe I feel like I'm putting too much in but I'm not getting the same back? I'm expecting too much out of something that is "fresh"?????????? Gah.

I am just stuck on this piece of land until I find some ship to rescue me =_=

S.O.S. !!!!

Merp...

I've been having some weird vibes lately. Flashbacks in my dreams, basically my memories are haunting me. A "throwback"... If I had a time machine, I wish to start high school over again, re-do the things I would've done better or different, try harder in school, make better decisions. Flashbacks were mostly in the year of 06`. Best year of high school. Ending of sophomore year going to the end of junior year. Sigh. Everything happens for a reason though. Good things break apart so that better things can get together.
2006 was just the best year overall. Life was so perfect.
Crash and burn, crash and burn. What can I do? People change I guess, including myself.
Badminton was so fun. The 06` people were such a special group that I loved to hangout with them. I'm so glad to have been a part of their lives.
It just seems like now, I've lost those genuine friends. Well, not really lost, just not as interactive as the years before. I've picked up new great friends, but I'll always miss those good times. But that's life... you lose some, you make some more. I'm not saying I'm unhappy with what I have now. I just miss those days.
At least, now I'm in a better place. There's no more baggage holding me from moving forward.